These ultrasounds were taken when I was 17 weeks 3 days. As of today, I am 19 weeks 4 days. For the most part, I feel pretty good. I had horrible morning sickness (hyperemesis) in my first trimester. I couldn't keep anything down, not even fluids! I wound up losing about 17 pounds as a result and had to receive fluids via an IV on numerous occasions.
Now, in my second trimester, I am just UNCOMFORTABLE 24/7. I can't sleep at night, I have frequent round ligament pain, my feet hurt and swell up all the time, my belly always feels so heavy, and I'm just exhausted all the time! I think I'll actually get more sleep once the babies arrive! :)
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| Picture is Baby A on top and Baby B on the bottom |
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| Pictures of Baby A |
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| Pictures of Baby B |
POSTS FROM OUR OTHER BLOG
We have two blogs, one which we don't really use anymore. However, that blog contains a lot of background information, including the blogs I posted throughout our 3rd round of IVF. I decided to copy and paste them over, as they play a pretty important role in telling our whole story! So here they are!
TITLED: ULTRASOUND COMEDY JULY 27TH, 2012
Then on Thursday (26th), I had the Nuchal Translucency ultrasound. This is where they test the risk of your baby having down syndrome or trisomy. The results came out great, and our risk is almost 1 in 10,000. We were able to see a lot at this ultrasound. We even HEARD the heartbeats for the first time! What an AMAZING experience! Baby A had a heartbeat of 158 and Baby B had a heartbeat of 167. Words can't explain it! The doctor asked us if we had heard the term "movers and shakers" and we said of course we have. He said, well, your babies are movers and shakers! It almost looked like they were playing with each other. Top baby stuck out its tongue, and bottom baby was waving, almost like he/she was taunting baby on top! It was so neat to see! They were both moving their arms and legs, and were both extremely active! It was definitely reassuring to see this, and to hear the heartbeats. We know our babies are doing well and we can't wait to meet them and see their personalities!
TITLED: FIRST ULTRASOUND AT 6 WEEKS & 4 DAYS JUNE 27TH, 2012
TITLED: ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT IN LAUREL JUNE 19TH, 2012
Tonight will be another sleepless night for me (and I'm sure Troy too). Tomorrow morning, at 7:45 we have my first ultrasound. I will be 6 weeks and 4 days tomorrow. This ultrasound is HUGE!!! This is where, if all goes well, we see the fetal heartbeat, where we find out if there are one or two babies....basically, this is the "make it or break it" of our IVF cycle. It has definitely been a long, difficult, and emotional road!
When I was at Kaiser yesterday getting my IV, the three nurses that were taking care of me all think that everything will be fantastic.....I guess they think that because hyperemesis gravidarum is a good sign that hormone levels are rising appropriately (and apparently it is also an indication of twins/multiples). That still doesn't settle my nerves. My nerves won't even begin to settle until I see that monitor tomorrow morning (I don't know if I will be able to look at first.....I think I'm going to wind up turning my head towards Troy and let him tell me....then I'll look). Once I see good results on the monitor, my nerves will settle a bit, but won't completely be settled until I have a baby (or babies) in my arms!
Anyways, Troy and I have been waiting for this ultrasound for what seems like forever! This wait has been harder than the two week wait we endured before I had my blood pregnancy test. Waiting, waiting, waiting, and more waiting. That's what my life consists of! I guess since I've waited and endured 3 and 1/2 years of fertility treatments, I can endure and wait this out!
TITLED: HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM :( JUNE 18TH, 2012
I just got home not too long ago from spending 2 1/2 hours in Kaiser. I originally went there because I had a concern about some discharge (gross, I know), and wound up being diagnosed with Hpyeremesis Gravidarum. I was diagnosed with this because we got to talking about my morning sickness, and how I throw up 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8 times a day. What I thought was normal apparently is not. So the doctor ordered an IV. The nurses got me hooked up to an IV and I got a little nap in! The nurses and doctor were fantastic! They made me feel so calm and they were so helpful! We of course got to talking about my fertility journey.....then the subject of work came up. When I told them the story of how I have been written up at work for missing work due to fertility treatments, they nearly cried and they said it was awful. They told me forget about them......focus on baby! And they are absolutely right! I have to focus on the baby in order to have a healthy baby! I don't care what they say to me at work, or what they try to do to me at work. At least now I am protected by the law! :)
Anyways, once I was released, I was also given a prescription of Zofran to help with the nausea. I don't really want to take it because although it is proven safe for pregnancy, I am still "worried." I will just try to stay hydrated....because I sure do feel a lot better when I'm hydrated!
Of course Troy was worried when I told him I needed to go to the OB/GYN. First thing he said was "what's wrong?" I had to reassure him that it was nothing bad. I don't think he was calm until he saw me once he got home from work. It is so nice to be loved! :)
TITLED: FATHER'S DAY JUNE 17TH, 2012
Today is Father's Day. And today I am 6 weeks, 1 day. Troy has been working overtime on the weekends, and today was the first day he didn't have to work. He enjoyed sleeping in a bit! We went and saw my dad today to wish him a happy father's day as well. I was feeling pretty good for most of the day. We stopped at Jersey Mike's Sub shop on the way home. Troy got a cold sub, and I got a chipotle cheese-steak. Since I was feeling pretty good all day, I thought I would be able to eat it. Boy was I ever wrong! I ate it......then it came back up about 40 minutes later. At least it didn't really hurt coming back up....it actually tasted kind of sweet. Lol. I guess that's because there were sweet peppers on the sandwich. I thought I would at least be able to keep down my Rita's chocolate/vanilla custard.....WRONG!! Oh well, guess I'll just have to go back to Gatorade and Popsicles. I got a little too confident I guess. Maybe one day I'll be able to eat! :)
I think it's so cute at how Troy is getting more and more excited about this baby! Not only that, but he's starting to get food cravings. His latest thing....CAKE!!! He NEVER eats cake. He definitely does not have a sweet tooth. It's kind of strange because the things I LOVE to eat (like cake), are normally the things he hates. Yet, as we go through the early stages of pregnancy, the things I once loved to eat are the things I can no longer stand.....and they are also the things Troy has quickly taken a liking to! Strange how things happen!
TITLED: GATORADE AND POPSICLES JUNE 15TH, 2012
It has come down to Gatorade and Popsicles. I can't keep ANYTHING down! It makes it nearly impossible to work, as I spend most of my time running back and forth to the bathroom. So since I can't seem to keep food down, Troy and I decided that I should just try to keep down liquids. Hence the Gatorade and Popsicles. We'll see how this goes.
TITLED: MORNING SICKNESS (AND NOON AND NIGHT.....) JUNE 14TH, 2012
I've been telling myself that I need to keep an extra toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste in my purse so when morning sickness hits, I can freshen up a bit! Wouldn't you know that I still haven't done that.....and I am at work and could definitely use it right about now. Just got out of the lovely staff bathroom, puking my guts out. I haven't really eaten anything that would be too hard on my stomach. I drank a ginger ale on my way into work and ate some crackers....guess my stomach didn't like what food I did eat. Now I'm sitting here with a disgusting tasting mouth - even after I have rinsed it out.
I have food on my desk, and I swear it's just looking at me, giving me the evil eye. It's taunting me! Dang morning sickness! :)
That queasy feeling in my stomach hasn't gone away yet, so I predict another trip to the bathroom at any minute.
TITLED: UPDATE ON BETA # 3 JUNE 11TH, 2012
I just got the phone call regarding my beta results. My number is now at 12,025! My number increased by 2 1/2 times! Next step, the ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks. This is where we check for a heartbeat and to see how many gestational sacs there are! Exciting! :)
Re Cap:
Beta # 1 = 2,364 (6/7/12)
Beta # 2 = 4,717 (6/9/12)
Beta # 3 = 12,025 (6/11/12)
TITLED: BETA # 3 JUNE 11TH, 2012
Today I have my beta # 3. This should be the final beta before I have an ultrasound. As usual, the nerves are going crazy! I just keep praying that everything goes well.
Today is also the first day I returned to work. I've been off for this entire IVF cycle, which has been fantastic! It's pretty difficult trying to get back into the groove of things. The day is passing so slowly. I wish it would go a bit faster! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to wait for my blood work results?!
My appointment was at 9:45 this morning. While I was sitting in the waiting room, my stomach started to rumble. I started to feel queasy. I obviously didn't get enough food in my belly this morning. I need to make sure I have breakfast foods readily available at home so I can just grab and go. So after my appointment, I decided that I needed something to eat....PRONTO!! I stopped at McDonald's and got a bagel with cream cheese and an orange juice. That definitely helped! Now I feel like I am ready for a nap!
I had a new symptom today.....that metal feeling in my mouth. It sure does taste great (sarcasm!!). Well, guess it's back to getting some work done!
TITLED: BETA # 2 JUNE 10TH, 2012
Yesterday (June 9th) I had my second beta test (that's just blood work). They do the betas two days apart, and want to see the number go up at a steady rate (basically double). My number jumped from 2,364 on Thursday to 4,717 on Saturday. I will have my third beta tomorrow (Monday). My numbers should be around 8,000 something.
I am still incredibly nervous, as I'm sure all newly pregnant women are! You never know what to expect! You get extremely worried when you have cramping and queasiness for several days in a row, then one day you don't have any of it. Apparently that is normal though. I just need to take the "good" days as just that! I have been hit with several symptoms already though, and they of course come and go. One thing that never seems to go away is the bloating! The bloating seems to be 24/7. Gas, queasiness, lightheaded (at times), constipation (fun, huh?), swelling, fatigue, extremely tender boobs, etc. The next 7+ months should be rather interesting if I continue at this rate. Oh yeah, can't forget being hot! Last night we went to my brother in laws house. I was rather warm. As I was laying on the couch falling asleep....my eyes started to tear up. I was crying because I was hot. SERIOUSLY???!!!! Lol!
Hey, I'm not complaining at all! I find it to be rather amusing! I will take every single thing that comes with pregnancy, and will take it with a smile! I have fought so hard to get to this point....that these symptoms are a walk in the park compared to what I have already endured! :O
TITLED: IT WORKED JUNE 7TH, 2012
I just found out a couple of hours ago that our 3rd try at IVF worked! I am ecstatic....over the moon....over-joyed! There aren't words that can describe accurately how I feel. My beta numbers were great! Basically, it's a quantitative measurement of the amount of HcG in your blood! My number is 2,364!! The nurse said this was such a great number!
I'm still nervous....as I'm sure all newly pregnant women are! I just have to continue to pray for the best. In about 1 1/2 weeks, we will have an ultrasound to check out the embryonic sac and fetal heartbeat!
Wish us luck....and keep those prayers coming!
TITLED: THE AGONIZING WAIT JUNE 7TH, 2012
I don't know what's worse....the two week wait after the embryo transfer, or the several hour wait for the results of your blood test to come back!! I had an appointment this morning at 8:45 for my blood pregnancy test. This is the test that determines our fate! You would think that after taking 4 (yes, I said 4) home pregnancy tests over the past couple of days (including one this morning before I went in for my appointment) and getting positives on each one that I would be a little more confident going into this. Well, I'm not! My nerves are shot! I'm trying to keep busy, but time is going nowhere! I guess the only thing left to do is go back to bed and take a nap. I will fall asleep for what feels like forever....but it will wind up to only be 1 hour. Then what?
What more can I do though? I have taken all the necessary steps to make everything turn out as successful as possible. I took off work for the entire IVF cycle so my body could be stress free and relaxed. I stayed calm during my time off. I didn't overdo anything. I prayed every day and I put my trust and faith in God's hands. He knows what's best for me. He has a plan for me. Although I can't always say that it's easy to understand this, I know that I have to accept it! There's no use trying to justify what happens. Things happen for a reason. If this is meant to be....it WILL happen!
TITLED: ARE YOU POSITIVE????? JUNE 5TH, 2012
So....my blood pregnancy test is this Thursday at 8:45 a.m. My nerves are totally shot! I just want to know already! Because I am so impatient with stuff like this, I decided to take a HPT (home pregnancy test). I went to Target, bought a 1st Response (Early Result) test, came home, and RAN to the bathroom. I have NEVER gone to the bathroom that quickly! I did the test, then covered the tip as directed....and then let it sit. Not even a minute later the first line appeared....then here comes the second line. This second line wasn't a faint line either, it was as clear as day! The two lines means the test is positive.
All I can do right now is continue to pray that it stays positive for the test on Thursday and that it is a viable pregnancy!
Fingers crossed!
TITLED: OUCH!!! JUNE 1ST, 2012
I have six more days until my Beta test (blood pregnancy test). It has been pure torture having to wait! Trying to think positive, and send sticky vibes my way! That's kind of hard though when you are rather uncomfortable!
Around Saturday or Sunday of last week (26th/27th) I began getting a little crampy. The cramps have intensified since then, but they don't show up very often. The thing that really gets me is this sharp stabbing pain in my lower abdomen, I'd say right above the pelvic bone. If I'm laying down, and I stretch out, I get that sharp pain. Or if I'm sitting down, and I stand up, I get that sharp pain. The pain is very brief, and only lasts for about 30 seconds....but it's frequent, and painful! Sometimes the pain is on my left side, sometimes it's on the right, and sometimes it's right smack dab in the middle! I have no idea if this is a good sign or not. Of course I've read a billion posts and articles about this type of pain to try to find an answer, but I remain answer-less!
Let's just hope for a good test on the 7th!
TITLED: THE TRANSFER MAY 29TH, 2012
So the "transfer" occurred last week, on Thursday May 24th. We arrived at Shady Grove Fertility in Rockville at 1:47 p.m. for a 2:15 p.m. appointment. As we were sitting in the waiting room, I was sitting there thinking about how this was all too familiar. We had been in the same waiting room several times before.....and had left that waiting room feeling hopeful every single time. Yet, we were back here once again. I tried not to think about it too much because I didn't want to get all worked up right before the transfer. I was able to calm myself down, and somehow, I think my husband knew I was getting nervous. Right when I was on the verge of tears from reflecting on the past, he put his arm around me, and held me a little tighter then he normally does. That arm was magical! I felt relaxed again, and wasn't as stressed.
Right about 2:00, the nurse called us back into another area. This area was behind closed doors.....another place we had been twice before. In this area, we show our photo I.D.'s and put blue booties on our feet. I took my shoes off and put the booties on, Troy put them on over his shoes. Then about 3 minutes later, they called us back into the "transfer" room. They took my blood pressure, and asked a few questions. The nurse then left the room and said the doctor would be in shortly. The doctor came in about 5 minutes after the nurse left. She went over a few things with us. She explained to us that they thawed two embryos. Both embryos survived the thaw so no additional embryos needed to be thawed. One of the embryos had 100% of its cells survive, the other had 90% of its cells survive. You can't get any better than 100%! The doctor then told us that she had one more transfer ahead of us, and that she would be back in about 5 minutes to do our transfer.
About 7 minutes later, the doctor returned. I "assumed the position", and using ultrasound guidance the doctor inserted the speculum and catheter. She then called in the embryologist as we were now ready for the transfer. The embryologist entered the room with a tube which contained our possible babies. He made the transfer through the catheter that had been inserted through my cervix. The embryologist then left the room to check the tube under the microscope to make sure the embryos both made it into my uterus. It was a no go. We had one that decided to hang back....so we did the entire procedure again....inserted the speculum and catheter again (fun). The embryologist redid his thing....and this time all was clear. After the transfer, I had to lay there for about 5 minutes before I could go home. Five minutes went by and I got dressed, put my shoes back on, used the restroom (I had to pee like nobodies business because I had to drink about 32 ounces of water before the procedure), then we went to the elevator, took it to the first floor, and headed to the car to go home.
Once we got home, I had to be on bed rest for 24 hours with light activity for the next 2-3 days. The 24 hour period wasn't too bad. I did get a little ancy though as I wanted to get out of the bed! I managed to stay in bed though for the 24 hour duration (except to use the bathroom). During these 24 hours, my hubby took really good care of me. He checked on me to make sure I was ok. He brought me stuff to drink without me even having to ask. He even went to 7-11 at 11 at night to get me my favorite ice cream...Breyers Oreo Overload!! I couldn't ask for a better husband!
Five days have gone by since the transfer. I think I have taken it pretty easy for the most part. I did some swimming on Saturday and Sunday with my step-kids (yes, swimming was allowed). We also took them to Rehoboth Beach on Monday (Memorial Day). Overall, it was a pretty relaxing weekend. And other than being extremely sensitive both emotionally and physically from the del estrogen and progesterone injections, being bloated enough to look like I'm about 4 months pregnant, and having some serious cramping, sometimes sharp stabbing cramping......I'm doing just great! I'm not even really craving diet coke!! :)
TITLED: 3RD TIME IS THE CHARM??? MAY 23RD, 2012
Here it is....the day before another embryo transfer. Yep, you read it right! We decided we are going to attempt our 3rd and final IVF cycle. My insurance only covers 50% of three attempts for each baby, so after this one, we are done. It's unfortunate that insurance doesn't cover more.
Don't misunderstand it though, we are still looking to adopt. We just decided that we wanted to try one last time. We would have always had the "what if" running through our minds had we not exhausted all three tries.
As I look back on my past two failed cycles, I tried to figure out what went wrong. Was it something I did? Did I go back to work too soon after the transfer? Was I too stressed out from all the problems at work? Was I over-exerting myself? Was there something seriously wrong with my body that the doctor's just couldn't figure out? Apparently there was something wrong with my body, but whether or not "fixing" this will lead to a baby, who knows? Troy and I also decided that this is all or nothing. This is our LAST chance! We want to do it right, and keep me stress-free! The only way to do this was to stop working! So we decided that I would take medical leave to remove all unnecessary stressors from my life!
My third IVF cycle officially started on April 14, 2012 when they started me on birth control pills. However, prior to the "official start" of my third cycle, the doctor wanted another HSG done. I was definitely not thrilled to hear this! Although initially I was less than thrilled about the HSG, I was happy that my doctor decided that there must be something wrong since the IVF hasn't worked. After all, I started IVF when I was 29, and I am a healthy individual! The HSG was extremely uncomfortable (but then again, are there any comfortable procedures in the fertility world???) but at least it is done and over with! I later found out that "something" appeared on the X-Rays from the HSG. Was it a polyp, fibroids, or some other mass? We would have to wait and see.
Back to the birth control pills. I know what you're thinking. Why would they put you on birth control pills? Well, the simple answer to that is so they have control over my cycle! The birth control pills "quiet" my ovaries which prevents ovulation and prevents me from starting a period (the ovulation thing wouldn't matter anyways since my tubes are gone but the period thing does! They need to know when my period will start). Anyways, a few days after I started the BC pills, I went in for a saline sonogram. Another pretty uncomfortable fertility procedure! Talk about some serious cramping afterwards! This is where the doctor was able to determine what that "thing" was they found during the HSG. During this sonogram, the doctor discovered that I had a somewhat large polyp in my uterus. A polyp is extremely significant when it comes to fertility, as it takes up space in the uterus....space which is needed for an embryo to implant. Before I could proceed any further, I had to have it surgically removed.
May 3rd, 2012 was the day! The day I had the polyp removed. This is also the day my medical leave officially started. However, the day before my surgery, I received a phone call from Shady Grove Fertility stating that Kaiser (my insurance provider) denied my claim for the surgery. The DAY BEFORE!!!! I was so upset! What am I supposed to do now? I must have that surgery! Troy and I decided to proceed with the surgery...and we'll have to pay out of pocket for the entire surgery. They'll just have to get their money when we have it! So the surgery goes on as planned. It was a pretty quick surgery. Afterwards, the doctor said the polyp was rather large and that they were sending it to the lab for screening (to make sure it is not cancerous). I haven't heard anything about that, so I'm assuming all is well.
Here comes May 8th, 2012. At this point, I'm pretty much all healed up from surgery. Still not 100%, but I'm getting there. Now it's time for blood work and an ultrasound. Yep, another ultrasound. By the way, they're vaginal ultrasounds.....not external on the stomach! The technician who took my blood did an awful job! She used a needle much too large (should have used a butterfly, but she didn't) and I could feel her moving the needle around in my arm. Needless to say, to this day I STILL have a bruise on my arm. Thankfully though the bump (blood clot) she created has gone away. The purpose of this appointment was to make sure the birth control pills did their job and would determine whether or not my body was ready to begin the del estrogen injections. The results came back, and we were good to go. Only one problem. I didn't have the medicine or supplies I needed! Apparently, one of the nurses at SGF called my medication in about 3 weeks prior, but failed to inform me of this! So here we were, scrambling to get my medicine so I could begin it that night. I called Kaiser, and because they received the order 3 weeks ago and I didn't pick up the medicine, they put in back on the shelf. So they had to refill it. Thankfully all went well, and I was able to pick it up later that afternoon.
Picture this.....I place an ice pack on my tooshy every third evening, wait for it to become numb, then my husband so lovingly injects me with del estrogen. This one isn't that bad though. It's .2 ml every third day and we are able to use a 22G needle. I warm everything up afterwards by placing a heating pad on my toosh after the injection. At least with a frozen embryo transfer cycle, I don't have to inject medicine into my stomach about 4 times a day! (my first cycle was a FRESH cycle....a lot of complications there. second cycle was a frozen cycle. third is another frozen cycle).
It sure was nice while it lasted.....one shot every third night. Not anymore! May 19th arrived, and it's time for another fantastic ultrasound and blood work. This time, we need to see if my body and uterine lining are ready for the second medication. Of course it is! My body has always responded well to the medication....just not to the implantation! So now I start progesterone in oil. This one is EVERY night....and the needle is a bit larger because the medicine is quite a bit thicker! It's an 18G needle....and the medicine burns going in! Not only that, but it makes my tooshy hurt big time! We do rotate "cheeks" every night, but that doesn't help much! Instead of one cheek hurting, I have two! I still do the del estrogen, so every third night I get two fantastic shots!
And now we're back to the day before the embryo transfer! My emotions are going crazy right now. I woke up in the middle of the night last night covered in tears. Reality has hit. This is it. What if it doesn't work? This is my last chance to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mom. I know there's adoption....but it's not the same. I want nothing more then to be able to experience the feeling of having a little miracle growing inside of me. I want nothing more then to be able to give birth. I want nothing more then to hold a tiny little baby in my arms, give him or her a name, and gaze into the eyes of my little miracle. I can't help but to think....what have I done so horribly wrong that I am not blessed with a little one? Why is it that teenagers are having babies every day, yet I can't have one with my husband? For the most part, I have accepted the hand that has been dealt to me. But why should I have to accept it? Why can't I be given something better?
Do I feel sorry for myself? Absolutely not! But I do feel confused. Hurt. Frustrated. Anxious. ALONE. I want to be positive about this cycle. I'm TRYING to be positive about this cycle, but it's hard when you keep replaying the phone calls from the past.....the one I received from my nurse after my pregnancy test for each cycle. She started each message with "I'm so sorry that I don't have better news..........." and that's all I remember her saying. How can you forget that? How can that not have a major impact on my feelings towards this cycle?
Maybe. What if. I hope so. We'll see. I don't know. What else can I say?!
TITLED: OUR STORY FEBRUARY 16TH, 2011
Troy and I (Lindsey, the author of these posts) were married in April of 2008. After a little over one year of marriage, I was diagnosed with bi-lateral tubal blockage with hydrosalpinx. My fallopian tubes were rendered completely useless, and the chances of being able to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a mom were slowly diminishing. I was told that because of my diagnosis, fertility treatments were my only option, and I was referred to Shady Grove Fertility to begin the InVitro Fertilization (IVF) process. Our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) said that because I was young and relatively healthy, my chances of success with IVF was well over 60%. This was great news, and we were both extremely optimistic about it!
After surgery and several other medical procedures, we began the first round of IVF. It quickly turned into a physical and emotional roller coaster ride....one that we wanted to get off but couldn't if we wanted a baby! Daily injections into the stomach, usually 3 or 4 per day didn't seem so bad at first, however it all very suddenly became overwhelming and extremely painful. Daily medical appointments became exhausting. Medication that caused complications due to ovarian hyper-stimulation. Then an egg retrieval that should have taken one week to recover from took well over 4 weeks! The inability to control constant mood swings became frustrating. Losing total control of yourself was hard. Being so bloated that people asked if I was pregnant....and having to deal with those emotions, thinking, "if they only knew." All of the procedures and the ton of information thrown at you all at once all became extremely intimidating. But somehow, we survived it! Barely. We got the news in December of 2009 that our cycle had failed. Of course we were devastated! We were back to square one with our emotions....trying to figure out why it didn't work. What did I do wrong? Why are we being punished? Why is my body failing me? We are supposed to be "fruitful and multiply", so why not me? Why couldn't this have happened to somebody else who has the financial means to pay for treatments? We weren't sure where to go from here, or what to think, or how to feel.
We decided that we would try another round of IVF, but we wanted to wait a little while so we could take the time to heal. During the healing process, Lindsey was able to work on her health. She began weight watchers and also picked up running and Bikram yoga. She was able to lose about 40 pounds and even ran several 5k's! She was training for a 1/2 marathon until she injured her knee. And although Troy was hurting inside, he continued to remain strong for me....he had to because I was falling apart!
We finally decided to start our second round in December of 2010. After a couple of months of hormone treatments, intra-muscular injections, and medical appointments, it was time for a Frozen Embryo Transfer....this time with two! Wow! The possibility of twins was beyond exciting! Our RE kept saying "Think sticky thoughts." I took that to another level.....it was snowing the day of my embryo transfer. The snow was sticking....it must be a sign that it's going to work! They closed schools because of the snow. Another sign! I didn't have to stress over missing work while school was in session! Then comes the awful two week wait to find out if it worked or not! Every little twinge I felt, every time I threw up, or was extremely exhausted, Troy and I both thought it was going to work! We remained positive and hopeful. Finally the day arrived to find out! February 8, 2011...we were both a nervous wreck! I got the voice message around 1:00 p.m. I knew immediately what the outcome was. I could tell by the tone of my nurses voice....it was negative. We were devastated once again. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Confused. Hurt. Betrayed. We felt our dream slipping even further away from us. Now we have to go through the painful healing process again. And once again....back to square one.
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